In that case you can use self soothing techniques. Meditation, aromatherapy, yoga things like that.You said you are in depression for 15 years.Untreated depression may get complicated. You need to take that into consideration. There is nothing wrong in being shy.A lot of people have shy personalities. You are an adult,you can decide if you want to go to therapy.You may benefit a lot and improve yourself with the help of a professional.