I’ve grieved long and hard about my career and for the person I was prior to diagnosis.

My prediagnosis personality was a Type A. 100 miles an hour. Post diagnosis very best case scenario is that I’m a content plodder who needs AP’s just to function at a basic level.

I’ve said it in another thread that it’s been difficult to go from being a someone who e.g. implemented the gold standard in neonatal ventilation to a nobody who has to colour in just to practise mindfulness. I used to have so much positive influence and impact on the world around me and now I have none.

I’m also physically/medically limited but was always able to work through and around any limitations. E.g I’m the oldest living person in Australia with my set of problems including a herniated brain stem. Being mentally unstable has been far more devastating for me than any of my medical diagnoses.

Bipolar has broken me and I can’t be fixed and that makes me sad.