Christina thank you for this thread. I have been thinking a lot about grief related to physical and mental illnesses lately, and was considering posting something similar. Then I see this post and it made me feel much less alone. I am very fortunate that many of my physical problems have improved instead of gotten worse over time, but the opposite seems true for my mental health. In my early 30s I know I am not old, yet I look back at my youth and young adult life and feel like it was taken from me in some ways. I had some good moments, but it's overshadowed a lot with mental/physical illness. I am grieving both what I lost in the past and also the fact that this mental illness seems here to stay. I am also grieving mistakes and less than great judgements I have made perhaps that I could have avoided with mental health treatment sooner. I think I am slowly moving towards acceptance, but the sadness and anger pop up from time to time. I am trying to stay occupied in the present and live my life as fully as I can. It's not easy sometimes, though.

You have been going through so much lately, and I wish you weren't. You don't deserve it and it's plain not fair. I hope some of the problems you have been having start to improve to offer you some relief.