Thank you for sharing this, I know it’s very painful for you.

Children are resilient. It’s likely that time will of erase the memory of that night, reframe it.. Mommy was sick, she got help. You have made a gazillion memories with them since that night. They will remember those the most.

I won’t go into boring details of what happen when my life imploded. But my husband and I were not doing well at all, mainly given up on our marriage. Anyway.... when I came unglued and went IP the first time. My husband was furious, though I was attention seeking. As time passed and he learned about Bipolar of course he feared I’d have another episode and need the hospital and it happened many times. He was watching me like a hawk all the time, it was exhausting for him.

But finally we had a talk that stuck with him. I KNEW what to watch for I’m generally very in touch with how I’m feeling..

I honestly don’t think you will have an episode like “that” again.

You have made so many lifestyle changes, your very self aware now. Maybe you don’t have Bipolar and it was just a “ perfect storm” but even if you do have Bipolar you can handle it. Eventually your husbands memory will indeed fade from that event, trust me on this..I’ve had some very scary psychotic episodes in the past and my husband doesn’t remember much about them as time has passed.

You have not taken away there comfort, they all love you completely. The good memories will always be remembered more by them. For US ?? Sure we remember the bad and ugly because we lived it. They just need us to continue to love them.

Don’t you dare beat yourself up over this