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Oct 31, 2019, 01:48 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: You'll never know
Posts: 940
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
Wow. Thank you for having the courage to share all of that.
It sounds like you felt you needed to "defend" your diagnosis. I am sorry if you were triggered here on the forum.
Sometimes, when I am triggered, I need to defend my diagnosis to me, too.
In therapy yesterday I had to defend it from other parts of us who said that "they" (meaning me and others) had "made it all up", and "they" were lying. And that everything would be okay if "those others" would just stop making up rubbish. I think our T said something banal like it must be really hard for them to think the others are lying all the time.
What can you do?
I hope you are well, and safe.
I believe you!
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@Amyjay
(((safe hugs))) 
I'm sorry you struggle with doubt, too. T sessions are hard when that happens. I've had protector alters say similar things, too, but deep inside, they know that they are afraid of something, whether it be trauma memories, the host finding out, the T getting too close, etc. It's hard for us to handle those things, too. Such reinforcements from the outside only hinder our progress in accepting our diagnosis, our parts, the trauma our parts have experienced for us, and our healing as a whole unit.
I felt like my parts were screaming, "But we're real," inside. It hurt to hear that again. I haven't heard them say that for a long time. I just don't want to feel hurt anymore.
Thank you for understanding. I'm so sorry that you struggle with this too though.
(((safe hugs))) 
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