My Support Forums - View Single Post - Mixed Race/Ethnicity: What negatives have you experienced? How do you heal?

Lilly2 · Oct 31, 2019 at 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I am Jewish and have experienced what are, to me, ignorant, shocking and terribly hurtful comments. There were some in grade school (things a few kids said to me that they obviously learned from their home lives). My last name (maiden name was long and ended with -berg) was very obviously ethnic, so my ancestry was obvious.

The two worst comments (among way too many) that stand out in my mind was when a very close friend told me she'd gone to a yard sale and got a good price on something by bargaining. The term she used was "I Jewed them down to a lower price."

I remember feeling like I had been stabbed. I explained to her that what she had said was so hurtful, and that the perception that "all Jews are wealthy cheapskates" is so incorrect.

She said she had never stopped to think about the meaning of the comment she had made, what it meant. But she didn't really express remorse.

The worst, worst experience I have ever had with regard to my background was during a job interview. I was nineteen and interviewing for a sales position at a small boutique. The owner was interviewing me; she was friendly and outgoing. When I handed her my application and she saw my last name she brightened up and said, "OH! You people are ALWAYS good with sales! Money is your thing! I'd be happy to offer you the job!"

I died inside. Just wilted. I stood up and took my application from her. It was like an awful dream. I had the paper in one hand and turned to pick up my purse, then just walked out. I ripped the application to shreds, threw it in a garbage can out on the sidewalk. I sat in my car. I couldn't even cry. I just sat there shaking with shame and anger.

There are so many generalizations that have occurred through the years. Sometimes people mean well..."I thought you'd know all about the Kabbalah, with your Hebrew background!" Or similar statements. Over-generalizations. Saying instead of asking. It just hurts so much...I feel so cut off and alone.

All Jews are not wealthy. Most Jews are very conscious of being humanitarians, and are charitable people. The connection to Jews and money has to do with Jewish people working themselves out of severe oppression. And so on.

Sometimes I wish I "looked different." I am fair-skinned and blonde, light eyes. If I was a different color or was obviously of a different ethnicity than the standard Caucasian people might think twice before they say something awful.

@BethRags

(((safe hugs)))

I'm so sorry you deal with racial stuff, too.

Thank you for responding to my original post. My half-siblings who are Jewish struggle with similar things that you mentioned.