I find that there is nothing wrong with waiting for people to come to you first in social situations, contrary to popular belief that you must always take the initiative. Some people are able to take the initiative while others, like me, are probably meant to just wait for others. I find from personal experience that taking the initiative just causes people to be annoyed. I rather be seen as someone who others may not want to be friends with but still may like me rather than annoy others and be the one that everyone silently groans about when I arrive in a social situation.

I’ve been asked by other people, both extroverts and even introverts like me that have decided to be brave and interject themselves or take the initiative, about why I don’t socialize more. The reason is because I don’t want to annoy people. For those who are extroverted, they just may be better at initiating conversations. For those who are introverts, they may be brave and succeed, but they may just wind up annoying others.

I’ve had introverted friends in the past like that and even have one now. She is being brave which is good, but her idea is to interject herself into other people’s conversations. She told me that’s the best way to go out and make friends. I don’t see it that way. It can come off as annoying and I can even see some people getting annoyed too. She doesn’t notice it happening. And I’ve seen other people in the past not notice that they are coming off the wrong way. That’s why I play it safe and wait for others to come to me. That doesn’t mean you have to stand in a corner and appear mopey or uninterested.

You can keep to yourself while still appearing approachable. Acknowledge people who walk by and reciprocate when someone approaches to talk. Even if I’m briefly on my phone looking at something unimportant, people still approach so I don’t think phones are a deterrent as long as you’re not on it all the time. Others, like my friend, may find it annoying that I don’t tru to initiate conversations but I honestly don’t see a problem with waiting for others to approach. As long as you make yourself look approachable, people will still talk. They may not try to be friends, but at least they may come to like you.