I do feel I am slowly pulling out of it.... But ever so slowly. Today I had some genuine excitement at silly little things and laughed harder than I have in a long time. I've been noticing myself longing for the times when I was a kid, had less responsibilities, and much of the world was still brand new and exciting. I feel that even more so with today being Halloween, and I'm seeing all the joy and excitement in the kids trick or treating that I once experienced. Unfortunately, I'll never be a kid again. Fortunately, there are things I can do that can bring back my enjoyment and excitement, like playing old online games and going to an amusement park with friends.

I think another part of my dilemma is that I can acknowledge plenty of reasons I'm not feeling so great, but I'm limited in my ability to address or fix those issues. I know I would feel better if I exercised more, and I know my grades would improve if I studied more... But with my time split between 19 credits of senior-level biology courses, a part-time job, spending time with my horse, staying active in clubs, and keeping my relationship and friendships healthy, I can't find the time to exercise or study any more than I already do. Same goes with meditation, yoga, aromatherapy, etc. unfortunately - just no time. There's nothing I can do about all that has happened these past few months besides trying to help myself accept and heal from it all.

Just writing things down here helps me make more sense of what I'm feeling and feel like I'm getting things back under control. Thanks to all who read these posts.