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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: You'll never know
Posts: 940
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Nov 01, 2019 at 05:57 AM
(((safe hugs)))
It's hard to tell what exactly you're going through, but it sounds like you're not being treated well.
Are you in a vocational rehabilitation program? Who are these people who are helping you find work? Are those people from a program, or are they your friends? Are they your coworkers?
It would help to know the answers to the above, in order to follow what you're saying.
Sometimes we receive harsh critiques, but it isn't meant to hurt us. If our communication needs improvement, they should be offering you advice on how to improve your communication for the job tasks at hand. If you are not qualified yet for a job, maybe you can work your way up to being qualified for that job. If you already have a job that you enjoy, no one should be sabotaging that; instead, they should be helping you grow into your job. If your workplace has become toxic, can you consider finding another job while staying at your current one, so that you don't lose money by quitting?
It's hard to make a judgment on the other people without knowing specific phrases in quotation marks, such as, Person A said, "You communicate poorly! You shouldn't be working here." --That's just a hypothetical example, not what I heard or read.
It is also hard when people "infantilize" you, or treat you like a child. Instead, they should respect where you're at, given your limitations with disabilities and otherwise. It's okay to have limitations; we all have limitations! For example, a person in a wheelchair cannot apply for police work, but that same person can go to school to become a lawyer! That person's limitations would include mobility, or the inability to walk, run, move fast, or utilize certain chairs. In the same way, those with mental disabilities and intellectual disabilities may have a difficult time conentrating, communicating, relating to others, picking up on social cues, acting in a professional manner, being alert and attentive at certain things, etc. It doesn't mean those limitations prevent you from working, but it may mean that those limitations may not work best with certain tasks at the moment, even though you could improve through being trained, mentored, eduated, or offered therapeutic tools for interpersonal effectiveness (e.g., DBT and/or CBT therapies). Emotion regulation is also an important aspect of working relationships. If you get easily offended from critiques, then that may mean that you could use some skills to help you regulate your emotions so that you don't feel as distressed when hearing those critiques. In many cases, those critiques are designed to help you improve on your job, or to reveal your limitations so that you can make a choice to leave if the job becomes too much for you to handle emotionally at the moment. In some cases, however, you may be experiencing toxic relationships, in which case, their communication is unprofessional. Overall, it's hard for me to understand what is going on without specifics. You describe a lot about how you felt, and a lot about how you perceived the "twisting" of words, but without specifics, it's difficult for me to understand what kind of relationship you had with those people, what kind of job you are working in (you don't have to be too specific, but you can say that it is an administrative job or a manufacturing job, for instance), and whether or not you are involved in a vocational rehabilitation program or some other program.
One way to resolve this would be to simply ask, "What can I do to improve this situation?" If those people give you some answers and tips, then you can work on those. If those people only give you negatives, meaning that they tell you that you cannot improve, then they aren't helpful to you. Still, you can follow through with a simple question like, "Why do you believe that?" See what they say. And without getting defensive, just thank them for their time and take a day or a week to figure out what could be an appropriate response. That's one scenario.
Another solution could be to find another job, and find different supports to help you find another job. You can still work where you are at, but try to find another job before you quit your current one.
Another solution would be to seek the help of a therapist. A therapist could help you learn how to improve your emotion regulation and communication with others. A therapist can also help you decide whether or not the current job is right for you, whether or not you are in a toxic environment, or whether or not your perceptions are representative of all that is going on at work. A therapist cannot decide for you, but a therapist can help you work toward making healthy and wise decisions about your current situation. Are you in treatment? Can you afford treatment?
Let us know how you're doing. If you can, please reply here with a little more clarification about what you're going through. Maybe others, apart from me, can offer better responses to your post. I hope that what I shared helps a little. If not, that's okay, too.  (((safe hugs)))
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