Ok then I agree with a lot of the other suggestions - just try to continue to build up trust with her, try to be affectionate all day long, without any expectation of it going anywhere. Even something as little as that "look". You know the look. The "wow he is checking me out" kind of look.

It doesn't always have to be physical touch either - just telling her you love her. Doing things for her.

Go back to when you were dating. Pretend like that's how it is now. You didn't have sex on the first date, right? (ok, maybe...) It takes a while to get to know someone and feel ready to let yourself do that. The way your marriage got so close to disaster - it's like you're starting over now. It might take time.

Sorry that you have to wait so long!