Hello

My husband moved out in the summer. It came as a shock to me which he said surprised him, I must surely have seen it coming? I didn’t. In hindsight, he had become quite distant since March this year. I just assumed it was a phase that’d pass. We had a usual busy family life. This feeling passed when he bought me a beautiful anniversary gift, I thought I’d worried about nothing and all was OK.

He’s living nearby to us in rented accommodation. We have teen children. We’d been together 20 years.

I thought we had a fairly normal marriage (it didn’t seem to me that ours was much different to that of the friends I confide in). I understand that I could and should have made more effort to be close to him. He enjoys outdoor pursuits and had plenty of time away from home to pursue these hobbies throughout our marriage.

Both my parents have passed away. My sister has been very supportive and I have a couple of good friends. But it’s hard to know I suppose unless you’ve experienced it.

My emotions are all over the place still 3 months on from him leaving. I’m on antidepressants and they help. I’m working on finding ways to occupy myself at home. I work full time.

I don’t really know what I’m asking for. Hope, I guess and any advice you may have for me on coping emotionally. I also have a lot of fears around finances (though he’s reassured me we’ll be alright, I don’t know) and the future. I’m 50 and had dreamed of spending old age with him and our children.

One thing I’m noticing at the moment is that I’ve lost my independence. I feel all I want to do is be at home. I dread having to leave the house which is completely out of character for me. I wouldn’t go out unless I had to.