Lilly2, staged treatment for DID is definitely the recommended way of doing things. The guidelines from the international society for the study of trauma and dissociation, headed by the world's experts on dissociation, can be found here: Adult Treatment Guidelines - ISSTD
After nearly two and a half years of therapy I am still in stage 1. Our therapist says we are not ready for trauma processing yet. I find that frustrating (as I just want to get this thing done!) but I suppose I know from the times that flashbacks have come up in therapy I am not ready to process them safely yet.
So in that sense I am glad our T is helping us to pace ourselves and I can trust that she will help us heal safely.
But, ugh. How long is this thing going to take?