Hi Scott.
I have been reading and thinking on your post and the comments of some caring others. Your plight is worthy and your thoughts are certainly sensitive and well placed. Judgement is always ego and ego often represents fear. Humanity has been plagued with fear. Situations like yours, to mobs of people raising some flag of judgement and to wars when fear overrides the ability to compromise, we become controlled by fear.
But like you so well stated,,though we can intellectually understand the process for making judgements,,when we are the victims of such arbitrary catagorizations,,,it hurts. Feelings seldom follow specific maps or definition. They just are.
Knowing yourself and understanding your true human value is the best defense against petty injustice. It has even worked for much more profound circumstance when men and women have been emprisoned, tortured or killed in the stark face of innocence. These folks, like you, are heros in nearly every sense of the word. Standing tall when all about you looks to crush you.
You are a person of value Scott and no matter what fear or need to dismiss sorrounds you,,try to remember that justice is warmest in the heart of its carrier. The feelings you are experiencing are lessens of compassion that you will aptly offer to those about you.
You sound very just to me.
Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them....
Sobriety date...Halloween 1989.
I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one...
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