I guess I lost my sense of safety when I found that my friends are not available for me during this period of time, which is why I get distracted and distressed.

Perhaps I don't feel safe in school, or even feeling home at home. It's kinda like I got displaced from somewhere else that stopped existing in the world anymore. I can try to find something that I feel safe with - I have a stress ball that looks like a soldier which was given to me when I donate blood, so I can try counting on that.

Thanks again for the advice and calming words