Thanks! I've always wanted to go but have shied away for many reasons. At 7 yo I yearned to go due to bullying & feeling 100% different than anyone else. Now I want to go and just pour my heart out, my whole life crazy insane out of this world story, all the odd things I've been into but I'm afraid they'll not know what to do with and just kinda push me away in a nice way or not do much with me accept take my money. I mean, ... I love science to the point of teaching myself electrical & software engineering & physics to a very high level of designing hundreds of circuits, written thousands of computer programs, made huge breakthroughs in physics, but at the same time I've spent decades in spirituality. I can hear what in modern spirituality are called "spirits," which I have my own unique theory about. I think that I either live in some kind of a simulation or dream reality, which one of these days I'd like to test. I mean, to be honest there're are plenty of academic scientists who have similar ideas and want to test them, but I've never met anyone who's into all the things I'm into. They're always into just one thing, while I have a dozen globally monumental projects that would effect the entire world like Tesla & Edison gave the world light, in addition to being "clairvoyant" etc etc. Also I'm very unstable, easily triggered, suicidal because I hate the world I live in, but yet to be honest I love myself sooooooooooo much lol! What if I don't agree with the psychologists recommendations? I just see things so differently than most people. How would even find one? I would want to see one who's very open-minded, who's intelligent & extremely knowledgeable, who would first try natural remedies that mainstream has proven works on a good percentage of people with ADHD such as yoga, meditation, zinc, magnesium, Inositol, possibly Ginkgo Biloba.

Idk, I want to pour my heart out to some who's intelligent but caring, who's not going to just listen, ... but at the same time it seems like a waste of time and money given my past history. Sadly enough, to be honest I just see humans as people are extremely unintelligent emotional nearly 100% of the time. I can be emotional too. I love art. I love romance even though I've never got myself to even have a girlfriend, I'm a gen-x. I've day dreamed countless times of living in Paris with a girlfriend having romantic nights that it always brings tears to my eyes. Ugg I feel pulled in two directions. Nothing ever works out good for me when it comes to interacting with humans. And all of this is just a drop in the bucket. I would feel sorry for any psychologist who would have to listen to me. I'm different, like maybe a different species lol. I wish there was a solution!