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Nov 03, 2019, 06:57 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: You'll never know
Posts: 940
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvyrself
I strongly disagree with anything that would discourage anyone from getting help. I have a friend who is a lead technician servicing fighter planes overseas. I think he is still hiding this from his family. It makes me crazy.
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@luvyrself
(((safe hugs))) I'm so sorry to hear about your friend overseas. It's sad when he feels like he has to hide this from his family, especially when his family could be a strong support for him.
Sadly, I did the same thing. My family doesn't know about my MST at all. What was going through my mind at the time of discharge and for homecoming was shame. I felt ashamed for not speaking up and reporting what happened to me, even though at least one of the men went to the brig, and I felt ashamed for having my time cut short, even though I was honorably discharged. I felt ashamed that my wounds weren't cause by combat, but rather sexual victimization. It was hard for me to share anything about the service. And, because there is a level of clearance that we all have in service, I didn't think I could share this with any civilians, let alone any fellow service members.
It's a secret shame that I've held onto for over 20 years before I went to the VA to seek treatment for that. I was in civilian therapy for about 20 years and pretending that my "childhood" traumas represented my MST, since I didn't want to speak negatively about the Corps.
I can understand that moral injury of silence, and why people remain silent. It doesn't make it right. It angers me, too. Maybe I wouldn't be so f**** up had I said something and gotten help.
I hope your friend is able to reach out and get some help. Even if he feels he cannot report it, there are ways he can still get help when he's off duty, I think. If he can find the courage to report it, that would be best, too, of course.
I'm so sorry, once again, to hear about your friend. (((safe hugs))) 
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