I don’t even know how to start. It’s a long story. Basically, about 3 years ago I started noticing things and behaviors about my wife. I started to get more suspicious, and started investigating more and more. For about 2 years earlier she told me her friend could use some help at her business, to make a little money. It was for the weekend and that instead of traveling the hours that she could just sleep the weekends at her friends house. I bought it all that time. It even got to the point that our kids were getting upset that mom was not home on the weekends. And I had to convince the kids that’s it’s ok moms just trying to make some extra money. Also, many times, a day or two per week she would go out at night and come back late. She would tell me she’s hanging out with her friends. Or have a PTA meeting and they went out afterwards. She would constantly text and be on the phone all the time though out the day. Even till late at night. I know she is a very social person and she has lots of friends so I thought nothing of it. We’ve been married for 24 years now. It’s been an ok marriage. I’ve always been I quite person and she knows that. But me pretty much being the only income, owning a home and 2 kids made us very behind on bills and mortgage many times. Did bankruptcy twice, have no 401k left because I kept using it to save the house. Borrowed thousands from my parents. Only having sex about 10 times a year made me more quite. At the time the kids were 11 and 15. I first noticed something was up when we were away and having sex, and I was sure she said his name. It got very quite all of a sudden. At the time I told myself maybe I was mistaken. A couple of weeks later I seen a text from him, by accident. It said hi baby I’m home, give me a call, love you. Then I started looking into things more, and thought maybe I heard what I heard that night. I found out his numbers and turns out they texted a few thousand times a month and talked for hours a month on the phones. Some more time went on and one day my daughter came to me, she was 16 or 17 at the time, and showed me a love letter she wrote to him and it was a little sensual. My daughter also seen some Facebook and text messaging as time went on the iPad was linked to my wife’s phone it turns out. I went to my wife about this, she got very angry at me and denied and told some stories about all these things I told her. I did not believe it at all, but it did not matter. More time went on. And I really started watching. I’ve seen him drop my wife home 2 times in the middle of the night. One time I waited outside, he drops her off at the side of the driveway behind my truck. And she said her friend did not want to pull in so she does not have to back out. But I know it was not her car she insisted it was. Then they started to leave our car at Walmart for the weekend. And he picks her up from Walmart. That took me a while to figure out. Time goes by. I’ve seen him drop her off at Walmart 3 times. I’ve found cards he gave to her, pretty much saying how much he loves her, happy anniversary cards and so on. She said it was from a very long time ago. But back then they had no websites. It did not matter what I told her. More time passed I dug deep turns out she was staying at his house most of the times they would go and do all kind of things together like no care in the world. I met them one night at Walmart. Still denies the seriousness of their relationship. Nothings going on just friends only. Angry and fighting with me. Week or so later. Thru my sources, I hear some disturbing things and I know they are not going to stop. I got very angry and said I was devorcing her. She said she was going to stop that our marriage will be better then ever. So I gave it more time. But it turns out, as time went on they still talk and text a lot. Went to them a couple of times to tell them to stop. They said ok that nothings going on they are just friends, that I can trust them. Ok. I kept watching. Time went on and I heard some very disturbing things, thru my resources. At this time she thinks I’ve forgot about what’s been going on. She does not know that I know she’s in love with him and they talk/text constantly. And more than friendship talk. They talk about how much they miss each other. Miss all the things they did together and even the sex. She has no clue of how much I know. It’s starting to really bother me, I constantly think about it everyday. I know she loves me, and I really love her also and our marriage is better then it ever was. Still don’t have sex as much as I like but it is more. But I do not like the idea she’s ln love with someone else also.. it messes me up inside bad. I’m trying to live with that and our money problems still. I’m having a hard time and could use some help/advice. I’m afraid of devorce. I will not get devorced and it’s my fault she can not have a guy friend and that I’m not secure about it. She will make everybody think it’s my fault. And I don’t want that. Please help.