Hope this is the right forum for this. I'm male, in my 60s, no previous mental health issues (at least that were obvious to me!)


A few months ago, at my son's wedding, I briefly saw and spoke with his mother for the first time in 5-6 years. Nothing dramatic, just the usual pleasantries ex-spouses would be expected to exchange on such an occasion. Since then, I've found myself mentally rehashing our relationship and reliving the events around our divorce, and I can't seem to stop.


Background: This was over 30 years ago. After 7 years of marriage, when our son was two years old, she asked for a divorce. Wouldn't say why, wouldn't consider counseling. Turned out that she was leaving me for another man (someone I had mistakenly considered a "friend" of both of us), though she was careful to conceal that at the time. First clue I had was when she took our son and moved in with her new husband-to-be two days after getting the final decree.

Ok, so, traumatic divorce. I was pretty broken up, of course. But I fought for joint custody and stayed involved in my son's life. Learned to deal with my ex regarding our son without too much conflict or concern. (He's is doing quite well, and his new bride is a lovely person, BTW.) Eventually found the wonderful woman I've been married to for the last 24 years. Thought I'd gotten entirely over my ex and the divorce and safely moved past that whole awful business. Until the last few months.

Now I find myself rehashing that time, wondering what I did wrong, why I didn't see it coming, what I could have done differently, wondering if my ex would ever apologize for what she did, wondering if she's doing ok, etc, etc. Utterly absurd and pointless, 30 years after the end of our marriage.

I don't understand why this would return to trouble me when I'd probably gone 20 years without this sort of problem. Is this sort of delayed regret just something that happens to older people? Or is it some weird early sign of dementia, or what?