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Lilly2 · Nov 04, 2019, 04:24 AM

On the flip side of all this, I do celebrate Veterans Day. And I do honor all the fallen soldiers on Memorial Day, who gave their ultimate sacrifice. I also celebrate my own nephews' and friends' service to their country, as they are in various branches with various ranks in the military. And, I celebrate all military and government personnel who work hard every day to defend this country. Most of all, I do celebrate the courageous efforts of combat soldiers (and veterans), special ops (and veterans), clandestine (and veterans), etc.

I've even considered the possibilities of "restorative justice" between MST survivors and MST offenders. I've often wondered what that would look like. If even one could come forward, at least far past the statute of limitations (if there is such a thing in Military Law), and apologize for their actions, offer clues as to why they made such mistakes in the first place, and help us to raise awareness about this ongoing issue. I've contemplated my own thoughts about forgiveness, as I want to forgive them, my noxious brothers in arms. I've often wondered if their MST offending stemmed from combat stress, peer pressure, alcohol abuse, or a combination of those factors. I've often wondered if their views about women or those men they perceive as "weak" led to their heinous actions; did they do their acts to purposefully make us fit for duty, or did they do it because they thought they were "training us"? It would help, I think, to figure out the genesis of their behaviors.

I often wondered if any of those veterans, including those with OTH discharges, experience moral injury from their MST perpetration. I wonder if they are in treatment for that, or if they go on to abuse some more in the civilian sector. After all, they were my brothers in arms, and I cared about not even leaving them behind, even if they left me behind (purposefully).

I've often wondered if restorative justice exists in the military. I wonder if JAG takes that into consideration. I wonder if both victim and offender could return to duty as fit siblings working alongside one another.

I commend their services apart from their MST offenses. I do. I'm sure they had put in a great deal of effort to defend our country, despite their intentional offenses or their semi-intentional "mistakes."

But where's the honor and leadership in MST perpetration? I don't see any courage in that. As a victim, I cannot see how MST bettered the military, their various units, and their victims. Where's the defense against our country for that? Are we even defending our country against sexual offenses, or are we training our soldiers to use that as a weapon? Why? - this becomes the ruminating question throughout our lives.

And MST survivors aren't the only ones suffering. The families and loved ones of MST survivors also suffer. The effects of MST perpetration (not just the MST PTSD among survivors) affects many lives beyond its victims. The effects of MST perpetration also affect the lives of those who know the offender, even if they don't know of his offenses.

And, an even scarier thought: How many female MST perpetrators exist? What say the governing authorities about them? Do they exist? Do they join in as bystanders and/or perpetrators? Males cannot be the only ones who are culpable when there are many accomplices or even phallic tools that can be used in place of human body parts.

And verbal sexual harassment is also part of MST: let us not forget that component. How many male and female perpetrators are there? Their victims are counted, but what about the perpetrators? There could be more than one, and coverup involves accomplices to such crimes.

What about military culture encourages MST offending? Is there such a thing as rape culture within society and the military? Under what conditions are these actions allowed or honorable? It would appear that the stripping of honor should fall on the perpetrators of MST, but instead it usually falls on their victims. Why?

And so, on Veterans Day, I consider these things and more. I consider my love for my brothers in arms - all of them, even the attempters with OTH discharges. I have enough room for forgiveness and praise for the good deeds that everyone had done and are continuing to do.

To my MST offending brothers in arms, "I forgive you." (((safe hugs)))