I work from home, so I tend to be fairly casual--jeans (or shorts) and a casual top, with fashion sneakers (like Keds or Skechers). Like SoAn, I try to avoid too much cleavage or anything too revealing, as I also have a (heterosexual) male T. My T *does* pay attention to my clothes and will sometimes make a comment about them. Like last summer, I mostly wore sleeveless stuff, so a few times when I was wearing a short-sleeved top or dress, he'd be like, "You're wearing sleeves today!" He has complimented a couple tops (not in a creepy way--like "That's a nice shirt"). He's commented on my shoes before, like, "Wow, I've never seen shoes like that" when I first wore my burgundy polka-dot Keds. And the first two times I wore distressed jeans, he said something like, "Things so bad you have holes in your jeans?" so I avoided wearing those for a while because I didn't feel like his commenting (well, the second time I was in a pretty bad place, so I just said, "Yes, actually!") So I do pay attention to what I wear, as I know he'll notice.


On a side note, we once had a conversation where he said he's very careful in commenting on clients' appearance, particularly females. Like he'll tread very carefully and see how they respond before doing that again. I said I was completely fine with it, that it makes me feel like he really "sees" me and is paying attention. And we have the sort of relationship where we joke around some and tease each other a bit--I doubt he'd do that with a brand new client or one who's in a really bad place at the time. I think he also uses it to try to relax me if I seem anxious when I first sit down or else lighten the mood at times.

Also, I do wear a bit of makeup--foundation, some blush (I'm really pale, so look kind of sickly without it), and lipstick in a mauve or nude shade. I've learned not to wear eye makeup because of my tendency to cry in therapy.