Thanks Mickey but no I have not mentioned this to my Pdoc. I do not dear open that can of worms. The things is whenever I mention that I struggle with SI it never ends well. Example of last time: I mentioned that it was something I struggled with to my IOP and they called the cops. I ran from the cops and lost them but for the next 2 days my anxiety was a solid 11. I have been forcibly committed once. Anyways I'm sure you're aware of my past history.

I talked with my wife's T over the phone. I knew he couldn't give me any treatment advice but he was willing to explain what the different levels of care were from a mental hospital in patient to intensive outpatient to partial hospitalization to full hospitalization in a clinic. That's where I learned that the private clinic is an average of a 21 day stay, but they don't take patients who are suicidal. Once again though going back to an earlier point I've made, No one listens to me. I've been suicidal for 30 years. I have good days and bad days. Yet in 30 years I have never attempted, but all they see is Red flag suicidal we can't deal with that. So they would call the cops on me send me to a mental hospital for a 72 hour hold I get out and I'm in worse shape than I am now. But hey let's pat ourselves on the back because we did good.