Short synopsis of my ongoing situation:
Husband admitted to using cocaine, drinks a lot, one instance of physical violence.

Heres the next part of my saga.

Since finding out about the cocaine we had a talk and he had been doing good. He hadn't drank at all and was making more of an effort to pay attention to me and our marriage. Then one slip up and everything is in turmoil again.

I threw him a 30th birthday party Saturday. He had some drinks there but was fine, until we left. We had a great conversation about how he was doing so well and I was proud of him and talked ti him about my feelings on thr drugs and the lying. He told me he didnt wasnt to do anything to lose me, that he wanted to have kids. I said then we both needed to make healthier decisions and be better with our money (my issue is unhealthy eating/ going out to eat toi much, I do tend to spend a lot).

We met up at one of his friends houses and he had a couple more beers. Those 2 beers must have pushed him over the edge. We got home and he was on his phone. I asked who he was talking to, since it was midnight. He said ok I'm sorry I was aking for some coke and then told the guy nevermind. All I said was ok and walked away. I was pssed and disappointed but knew that arguing with him at this point would only make things worse. So I just went to go to bed. Had I been given time to process I would have told him the next day that I was happy he decided not to get the drugs and that it was a good step. But he immediately started yelling at me after I walked away, saying I put him down and that all i do is yell at him.

When he went to bed i looked at his phone yo make sure he wasn't asking anyone else for drugs. I sae that he had texted his mother saying that i was pissed at him and that it was his own fault for going in on this toxic marriage.

Then there were the old texts from the week I stayed at my parents. Where his mother said I was playing games by staying with my parents, that he should leave to make me wonder, and that she was pissed because I do everything I can to help me brother (who is in rehab for heroin) and wouldn't help my husband. She told him to throw that in my face, that I help my brother

The difference is that my brother knows he has a problem and has been asking for help for years. My husband doesnt think he has a problem.

So I talked to some of my friends, was up til 4 am because I was so upset and couldn't sleep. One of my friends posted on my facebook saying that I have a heart of gold and that I deserve the world and deserve to be respected. My mother in law took offense to that and posted on his wall "you're a good boy I love you" and when my mom posted an uplifting post about strong women and told me that my kindness and willingness to help people is always appreciated, his mother posted on her own Facebook "what a joke". She claims it wasnt about me, but I feel it was. And then 5 mins later texted me thanking me for giving her the paper plates left over from the party. I told her no problem. 2 hours later she says that she was going to reimburse me. I'm not sure where that came from.

But now she wants me to go to her house to talk to her. I feel so anxious about it.

While all this is going on my brother is not doing well. Hes clean but his mental and emotional state is awful, I'm terrified that he is either suicidal or going to relapse. My nieces were taken by dcf and I've visited them for 2 hours since Aug 9. I saw my nephew once since july. And those kids were a huge part of my life. My recently deceased grandmothers birthday is in 2 days. I'm so overwhelmed