Dealing with individuals that have problems with alcohol and drug addictions tends to be "all about them" and even when they are sober, it tends to be all about staying sober and going to meetings. Often once a person gets sober they find out they have ptsd issues and ran from their issues to the alcohol.

Your husband needs to quit drinking period and go to meetings and also get therapy to help him get to his core issues and finally grow up and not punish others for his problems.

I am very sorry to learn your brother is struggling with herion addiction. That is a very hard challenge and often begins by being prescribed pain medications that are very addictive.

Your husband's mother is enabling her son and should not be blaming you for anything. It's certainly not YOUR fault your husband has a problem with alcohol and cocaine.