Hi! I am writing to see if anyone out there has experienced what I have when using antidepressants for bipolar disorder I. I have tried several antidepressants over the last few months and every time I try a new medication, after 3-4 days I start experiencing intrusive suicidal thoughts which are very scary but I do not feel compelled to act upon them. After a day or so off the medication the thoughts disappear but I am left with the exhausting depression in which I go from hour to hour, day after day. I actually dread going to sleep at night because I know what the next day will bring even though I approach it with an optimistic attitude. I saw another psychiatrist who said I had treatment resistant depression (even though I am bipolar) and refused to treat me, saying medicinally, there was nothing he could do for me. I am on high doses of night meds - 750 Seroquel, 200 Trazodone, 25 Thorazine and 2.5 valium. My question is this: With all of the meds I'm on, could this be the reason that none of the new meds I try will work? I am currently taking 1/2 of a 1.5 vraylar capsule. My system is super sensitive so I'm just taking a tiny amount and hope to find some relief. The dreaded word ECT was mentioned and I freaked out. Anyone having that experience? I'm determined to keep fighting this but my life sucks right now because I am constantly battling the depression. I would really appreciate your input and thank you for taking the time to read this post. It's good to know that I can go somewhere where people get what I'm going through.