I know, I know. As you and I have briefly exchanged ideas about about, I have a similar thing going on. People have hinted to me before that they think I might be anorexic. I def do have some features of it, no doubt. I am sort of obsessed with being thin and my weight. And I have had the same experience from a psychiatrist who broached this with me years ago. She sorta freaked when I told her what was really going on with my food situation. She never used the word 'hospital,' but I could tell she was thinking about it for a potentially bad moment down the road.

But my weight has never gotten that low. I look skinnier than I am because of the way I am built and because of how tall I am (6'1"). Long legs. Fairly long arms, broad shoulders. I currently weigh about 177. I think it's fine.

Not sure where you are located exactly, Mountaindewed, but you might look into whether there is a Nutrition program/school in your region. Sometimes, medical schools and other training programs offer services provided by supervised students/interns for a substantial price reduction. Also, is there a formal Eating Disorders program where you are? Your insurance might cover a full workup there. It's worth looking into if you are interested. It could put this whole thing to bed once and for all, if they evaluate you and say you don't have it. But you may not be interested in doing that, which is also fine.

In the mean time, sending you support and positive vibes. You'll get through all this.