Personally I would go with no real expectations. But at least that way you won’t have to live with regret that you would have to somehow put to rest.

My aunt got mad at her SIL years ago and flat refused to speak to her and anytime her brother tried to smooth things over, his wife wanted things to be okay again. So her brother stopped reaching out. Well his wife Gisela was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. My other aunt really tried to get her to go visit , her brother really hoped she would and called repeatedly to ask. I practically begged her to go .. My aunt Randi refused, she also refused to go to the service. I was furious. Her brother just stopped talking to her , I legit couldn’t talk to my aunt for months.

Anyway now my Aunt regrets it all so much , but she can’t fix it, she lives with that regret now and always will.

You don’t have to all at once be best friends and the past forgotten. But I have known many people who have not seen family members before they die and all regret it.

Do you have a T you can talk to about this with???