|
Nov 06, 2019, 03:52 AM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Jun 2008
Location: WYLTK
Posts: 768
|
|
I'm turning to you guys to talk to, since i don't have my aunt anymore. so sorry if this gets long.....
i just saw my BI-doctor (brain injury). and i was thrown a MASSIVE curve ball, completely unexpected!!!!! i guess I figured that after the Botox incident & my hypotensive episode, that they would be like 'so with that out of the water, this is plan C, this is plan D, and this is plan E -> what do you think about those' - you know, something along those lines in terms of other treatment options. NOPE - that didn't happen. the opposite actually!
in long terms short, they said they think there is a secondary thing going on with my brain -> in ADDITIONAL to my current brain injury!!!!! yeah, you read that correctly - TWO things wrong/going on with my brain! could be something like an aneurysm (maybe not that severe of a thing) or avm (i think were the initials) or something that was there and is now 'activated' or became symptomatic. SSSSOOOO.....
they did a blood draw and put in an order for an MR-Angiogram. basically looking at the blood vessels in my brain. (and maybe the MRI missed something) and i will also see a neurologist, who will probably order more tests. it's kinda like gathering more information, to figure out what's going on with my brain - as in why things are taking 'longer', not responding the way they hoped or it maybe should have, and things like that.
i'm scared out of my f-ing mind!!!!!  i mean, it's my brain for crying out loud - not like a leg or arm or something like that. this is my brain they're talking about - the thing that controls my ENTIRE body! yes, i am over 8 months into my current brain injury, and i'm well aware that there are things not improving and/or getting worse. which btw is f-ing scary itself!!!!!!
my BI-doctor said they won't do anything in the meantime, until i see the neurologist. and since that appt isn't until 12/05, it means an ENTIRE month of waiting! and the other part of this that i haven't yet told anyone about (outside of my docs), is i'm having problems with my eyes (due to the brain injury)! i've got double vision, blurry vision in one eye, "very sluggish pupils", and photophobia!!!!! these things are to the point where my optometrist wants regular visits EVERY 2-3 weeks to monitor changes / fluctuations / new or worsening symptoms! and THAT will continue for however long it takes for my eyes to 'stabilize' !!!
i'm 8 months in and just had doc appt number 25 - and that's brain injury related ones only!!!!!! i have a gut-wrenching feeling i will BLOW past my one-year mark when that comes, probably topping the 35 number! I'm so scared out of my f-ing mind that i've been crying today. and i'm not the emotional type!
what if these symptoms don't get better?at what point do the docs start looking at long-term symptoms and just managing those??? and the worst, what if the 's' word comes up?!? this has honestly been 'the year from h**l' for me. i want off this f-ing ride cuz it's gonna kill me. adding all this on top of everything else -> i'm already in the deepest hole and can't even see any light, no need to keep dumping water on top!!!!!
everytime i get a headache, there's that voice inside me that starts wondering if it's 'just a headache' or if it's really something much worse going on..........
|