Dear Stahrgeyzer, I don't usually click on those blue things people offer, like links & youtube, because I'm limited, technologywise. So I didn't click on yours. But I'm going to reread your questions & try to answer the ones I can. You certainly do research thoroughly! More than most people do, I'm sure. You would make a great researcher. I agree with Blueskyx about listening to your feelings, your intuition, to help guide you. I believe in that. But be careful about your fears & being afraid of everything. I know about that too well. God bless you! Lots of hugs to you!!