Hi Deilla, I can SO relate. There is nothing I love better than a beautiful clean home, but I despair of ever having one. And the thing Happy said about not being able to plan ahead because you don't know how you're going to be that day, is so so true. Heck, you may hardly be able to get out of bed.

Recently I had a physical therapist coming to the house twice a week to help me post total knee replacement, and I nearly perished from shame. It's not that I don't see the mess, I just don't have the energy to do anything about it much of the time. (By the way, if you pay attention to your energy curve you may find that there is a certain time of day that you generally have a little more. Mine is in the morning, so if something really matters to me I try to get it done then. After lunch my motivation returns to 0.)

A suggestion: I learned about a compassionate cleaning book right here on this forum called "Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess" by Rachel Hoffman. I got it for my iPhone Kindle app through Amazon, and I like the author's tone. She realizes that not everyone is a Martha Stewart or has the energy of a Martha Stewart. She realizes some of us have a mental illness to deal with.

Anyway, hang in there. Truly, you are FAR more than your mess.