Hi Cashart. I think it is very brave of you to make this post. I agree many believe it is taboo and I admire your honesty and willingness to seek advice for something that is creating discord in your life.

I would first like to make it known I am not judging you for your actions. My advice here is phrased as it is because you have indicated these behaviors are painful to you and you would like for them to stop. I'd be writng something entirely different if you indicated you want to continue with this behavior and seek ways to foster acceptance from your husband.

Is there anything specifically that triggers your urge to view this material? I would first recommend looking back at your behavior for a period of time to see if you can notice a pattern to your actions. You can avoid triggers if you can identify them. You can also deploy coping skills easier if you can mindfully realize when you are triggered.

Secondly, I would craft strategies for creating new patterns. Habits can be hard to shift, but over time they become easier and easier if we continually replace old behaviors with new ones. So for example, you might create a list of 5 or so go to activities to engage in each time you feel an urge to view porn. Keep the list varied as you might be in a variety of locations and/or times of day when you need to lean on these strategies. So for example one might be taking a walk. Another might be reading the Bible. Another might be fantisising about your husband instead or engaging in activities with him. Some of the strategies are appropirate for releasing pent up energy. Some are appropriate for redirecting your mind away from sex altogether. Some are meant to indulge your desires, but channel them in a way you feel is healthier for your marriage. Different distractions or strategies will work better at different times depending on the circumstances. The goal is to make your list varied and realistic.

I would also recommend spending less time on your phone. Put it down and train yourself to only pick it up when it is absolutely needed. For a while it might be helpful to use a family or shared computer for online activities. You'll be less tempted to falter if you're surfing out in the open. I think I remeber you left your job recently. This leaves you with more alone time. You're going to have to fight hard for a while to keep reminding yourself not to stray in this way. Perhaps snap a picture you can use as a symbol of your love for your husband. Make it the pic for the lock screen and the home screen on your phone. That way you'll see it each time you turn your phone on. Little reminders of our goals help.

Finally, it might be helpful to create several mantras that you repeat to yourself several times a day. These might include statements like: 'I can be sexual without watching porn'. 'I seek to share my sexual energy with my husband only'. Etc. I haven't done the research, but I am sure there's a good list somewhere out there. However, your experience might be more authentic if you author these on your own.

I hope this helps in some way. I am in no way an expert in this space, but I would personally start with some of these strategies if I were experiencing the situation you describe. I wish you all the best in finding greater balance in this area of your life.