I am too overwhelmed, by everything. I am scared, I am tired. I cannot deal with this. I cannot sleep. Maybe I am just an hysterical piece of **** and I am exaggerating everything and it's not important and bla bla bla. Feel free to insult me. I won't think it is personal. You can be sincere.

I am a failure, there are so many people with the same problems than me or more that end up doing better, I don't understand why I cannot, and I want to, I try to. I try to eat healthy, I avoid self harm behaviours, I exercise, I work, I try to study... but still I keep failing again and again. Non stop FAILURE.


*I cannot deal with college anymore. This is my last year, I have to choose a place for my 6 month intership (either in a hospital or in a pharmacy), but since my grades are low (like a C+) I am the number 60 (Which means 59 people choose first). The problem is most of pharmacies/hospital are not in the city I live, where I live there only are 39 pharmacies and 3 hospitals and from these 39 pharmacies only 23 are compatible with my schedule (I cannot afford to pay for the bus. Luckly most of my classmates don't live where I do). I am feeling horrible because of my grades, I know I can do better but it's difficult if I have to work and deal with my mental health at the same time.


*My landlord wants to kick me out and he is going to report me for something It's not my fault. I am seeing a free attorney on Friday.


*I am having a great difficult finding another place due to my low incomes. My social worker cannot help me.

*Maybe I am overreacting. I have no family, I have CPTSD. I had two friend, I said I had because recently one of them did something horrible to us (my other friend and me,; we three lived together) and that's why my landlord wants to kick us out.

*I found a clinical psychologist that's helping me, I had the first appointment last week. The next one is in February (**** public mental health).

*I have to do my final year proyect next semester, but if I don't find a good place for my internship I cannot do it. The professor that is going to tutoring me has helped me a lot and I don't want to disappoint him

*I feel horrible, I feel fat, shapeless, like a monster. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I can't deal with all of these.

I feel like the worst person in this world. I feel trapped. It's like I am cursed or something worse. I am so tired voices start talking to me again. I wish I had done better at college. I cannot sleep. Sometimes I see something, like Death, calling me, like some sort of demon that's telling me where I truly belongs to. I am not crazy, I want to do something, I want to work and be productive. I want to feel I belong to someplace.


I just want to rest, It would be wonderful if I could, but I cannot. Things are gonna get worse if I wait. Nobody will help..

I wish I could die, I wish I could, But I then there is my dog, and my friend who needs help, and I don't want to disappoint my professor or to make my psychologist mad at me.