Due to time limitations I am going to, at least for now, respond to all of you at once. First of all, thank you all for being so accepting!

I don’t want to have this conversation with my husband unless absolutely necessary. I do feel it would hurt him. I know him enough to know he wouldn’t consider it cheating but I think he would wonder why I sought out pleasure from the internet and not from him. I would prefer to stop it altogether and it just be forgotten. I did find a way to make lots of hurtles for access on my phone last night. I hope that will help. I also have decided I am going to discuss this with my therapist, (thanks for that advice!) I told her today that I was struggling with some fears that I am afraid to tell her about. She said “now you have me curious”. She’s not used to me not spilling everything to her and I think telling her that today will make the lines of communication more open to it next week. But, I can guarantee I will be embarrassed, despite our relationship.

As usual, thank you for all of your advice Fern. I am noting many of your suggestions as I think they will help. I will say that this is pretty much only an issue just before I fall asleep and I will also say that due to some childhood trauma I have always been at least a little awkward in terms of my sexuality. Thanks again to all of you!