Dear Stahrgeyzer, I reread what you said earlier & have numbered the issues I thought I could answer: 1. You don't know what to say to the therapist & wonder if yov're a little too crazy, with intense thoughts of suicide, & crazy depression, etc. - In my opinion, you should tell the therapist you've decided on all these things. That's what he or she needs to know in order to help you. So they know what they're dealing with. 2. You say you would be afraid to tell the therapist of all your thoughts about reality. - With this one, I would say wait until after you've gotten to know the person & use your instincts. I was able to talk about such things with a very wonderful psychiatrist many years ago & got great answers. But I never talked about those things with anyone else. I kind of know the the answers, more & more as time goes on. It would take too long to explain what I mean about that. You are also spiritual, so you want to be careful who you share your precious thoughts & feelings with. Some of them are sacred & should be safeguarded within your heart & only shared with special people. On the other hand, some of our feelings are a form of dissociation, which protects us from those things that are just too much for us to bear. And
usually that will fade away with time. 3. - You also wonder how psychologists handle death wishes. I think most of them have heard it before. And for all you know, they may have felt that way themselves in the past. Just play it by ear. That's what many of us do. Get to know your therapist & let your intuition guide you. I wish the very best for you!! Lots of hugs to you!!