Idk if I’m falling into depression or just lazy?!

My good friend says I’m allowing myself to fall downward and she’s probably right but idk why I’d do that.

I’ve been staying in bed all day on days I have nothing urgent to do. I’ve been cancelling plans. I have t showered in 2? 3? Days. I have been taking my meds.

I’m still ruminating about times my life was threatened by my step monster. She should have just done it and saved me the trouble. I attempted to take my life while In ip this past spring. Another failure on my part. My best attempt wasn’t enough.

I feel stupid and lost. But at the same time
I’m excited for my upcoming vacation.