I make a new friend organically usually 3-4 years after my last one. I've recently upgraded from flakes to my first workaholic. Now I'm feeling like I'm about to show my illness, I don't find friends to be very legitimate. I'm in a place where my lover is my friend. And she's just crazy enough to empathize with my illness. But not so much where we generate more illness. I feel like, because I'm mentally ill that people will exploit me or discriminate against me. Condolences on your loss.