Very welcome @Biba_yu.

No, it's not confusing. What you're saying is very familiar to me actually, and I think these feelings of not being enough, not doing enough, not being able to enjoy anything, stem from the twin nemesis of anxiety and depression, yes. I have terrible anxiety in conjunction with depression and it does rob a person of enjoyment, Biba_yu, just as you describe. It's awful.

But years ago now, I said to myself, no, I need to be able to enjoy at least the natural things in life; the forest, the beach, hiking, the birds chirping in the trees. And so that's where my joys come from today. But also appreciating - when I'm not feeling so messed up - the goodness in people. They're like lights that help me through the dark tunnel. Enriching my life a little, Biba_yu.

Yes, anxiety & depression. Very stubborn beasts, friend, and I'm hoping you will find, very soon, some things to decorate your inner being with. Some nice things.

I'm sending you a hug, Biba_yu.

What other thoughts are troubling you? (((hug!)))