I've never tried to act out the fetish on the object again. I'm not even obsessed with it anymore, I've lost interest in the obsessions altogether now. I don't want to act out the fetish on it anymore and don't really fantasise about that. I did once when I was bored but lost interest quickly.

I still fantasise about M though, and most of those fantasies involve the fetish. And this is much more enjoyable than with objects/things. And I don't feel ashamed anymore, I'm not doing anything wrong. It's normal to have a crush on someone and since I can never be with him, I might as well be with him in my mind. I can do what I want inside my mind.