When I lower my antipsychotic, I have to do it slowly because the withdrawal can cause psychosis and depending on how long and severe it is, it could make everything worse. If I lower it slowly and the psychosis never stops, then it's confirmed that I have schizophrenia which would make it worth taking the antipsychotic.

But then they'll change my diagnosis to half-autism (PDD-NOS) if I don't get psychosis and take me off disability. Then I'll work full time and if I don't get psychosis due to stress (Which can increase OCD related to half-autism), depression and trauma (Cured by my good psychedelic trips and made a bit worse by my bad psychedelic trips) then that's great but if I do get psychosis, then it will be changed to autism with psychosis due to stress and then I'll be put back on disability but it could take years. But before that, they'll want to put me on antipsychotics again and I don't want that. The brain can only take so much psychosis before it breaks. My negative symptoms were caused by government and society conditioning and hopefully the rest will be gone if I'm on lower antipsychotic and gives me the strength to work full time again.

I was supposed to wait until I'm 25 to stop the antipsychotic because then my brain will have mostly developed but I'm 23 now but don't want to risk brain damage from the antipsychotic until then. It's like a catch 22 and complicated.

I just don't want to work right now because I want to spend time with my mom because she has cancer. Then if she dies soon, I'll be so emotionally damaged which is why I'm trying my best to prepare for my future. I wouldn't be able to work with my mental illness without her and she's my caregiver.

I hate this. The only solution is to lower the invega injection to 100-50mg and keep my disability because it's less of a risk that I'll get psychosis if I stay on a lower dose of antipsychotic until I'm 25 (I think I figured it out..)