So, I'm new to the forum and also a newbie at treatment for my depression. I just wanted to rant for a bit about things. No need to comment or even read if you're not interested. I just wanted to get it out.

First of all, I'm a college freshman and totally failing out. I just couldn't make it to class for so long that I got far enough behind that I can't make it up. Not to mention I have completely lost the ability to study or concentrate for any period of time. I used to read all the time and I wanted to be an author. Recently I can't get through my favorite books much less school books. I simply can't remember what I read for more than a few paragraphs; even when I read things I've read before. It makes schooling even worse because even when I study I can't remember enough of it to pass a test.
I'm also so uncomfortable at college. Its the environment partly; people are fairly distant and no one really cares about anyone else. I know feeling alienated can be seen as part of depression but this is a feeling I've had about the school since I was in high school. Its the local college and it was my safety since the college I went to out of state didn't work. The problem is that this one is so uncomfortable that I'd like a real change of scene and to be away from my family.
I've been having these feelings for a while and since I've been working on my depression I'm trying to fix these problems as well as the other emotional stuff that resulted from depressive episodes.
My father is completely clueless about everything so I don't get any support there. I've told him about what I feel, I've talked with him about what I want to do, I've been completely open about my depression and my medication. The problem is he lies to himself and his family about the problems we have. He told me last night that he thinks i'm basically out of my depression and that I should move back onto campus and out of his house since i'm "ready." He thinks that since I've been on medication for a few weeks I should be completely cured and that all my problems that still are cropping up are just a result of bad habits on my part. I'm not sure how to convince him that I need more support and less nagging about getting my life on track. It just makes me feel more guilty and worse about everything thats happened.
Also, since I've been thinking about and researching other colleges that i'm thinking of transferring to, he has started to nag me about money. He lied to my step-mom about a parent loan he took for my college so he got in trouble and is now taking it out on me. He's trying to make me pay him 10, 000 dollars so that he can get out of hot water with my step-mother. The problem is that if I had that money I wouldn't need to have him take the loan! There was no other option at the time and the only reason it went wrong is because he lied to my step-mother about taking it. So now he's pressuring me to get a better job instead of the one working with disabled kids that I love so that I can pay him back. For the first time he's started nagging me more about money than following my dreams. Maybe i'm being disilussioned about the world all of a sudden but I'd love some more support and understanding on his part and I'm not sure how to convince him that his lying is contributing to my own feelings of stress and guilt.
Just to end this rant on a happier note, I'd like to say that I do have one person who really cares about me and is doing his very best to be supportive. I've been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months now and when I'm with him I actually feel happy for what feels like the first time. He lives 1000 miles away unfortunately and since I don't want to whine to him about my life over IM or over the phone, he doesn't know how awful I feel lately. But everything I am able to tell him he accepts without hesitation and he's been a big part in making the first steps to getting out of my depression.

Thanks for anyone who read this, I hope it wasn't too much of an ordeal. I also hope it makes sense since its 2:30 and I'm a little tired. Any advice is appreciated but theres no need if you don't want.

Thanks for letting me rant a bit.