Thank you all

I have been labeled with almost everything lol (bipolar, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, schyzotypal, panic disorder, mood disorder nos, psychotic disorder nos, etc...).

The thing is I am more or less functioning enough, at least acording to my former psychiatrist I was too functioning to be diagnosed with a mood or psychotic disorder. He didnt help me.

Ehmmm I am not sure what it is "too functioning" ... I didnt fail at college even if I mised most lessons but I couldnt socialize or take care of myself. I had many short term hospitalizations when at some point I couldnt sleep and I was acting weird (I am ashamed of that). I was mislabeled as having a personality disorder (egh, that wasnt my normal behavoiour, I was seeing things crawling everywhere and could sleep 0 hours, literally 0, however I still knew those things werent normal, my insight never completely went away).

My current therapist plain directly said "Do you think you have more issues than PTSD? Would you take medication if they were prescribef to you?".

I replied I think my brain doesnt work like other people brains. I hear demons, I have people in my head, i see death calling me, I am euphoric for no reason, and more and more things. They dont always happen, they happen for some months and go away for some weeks. Sometimes I am almost normal, and when I am not it has little to do with external factors (unless it is a PTSD trigger, caffeine or sleep deprivation, what I mean it is that it is not influenced by fear of abandonment or anything like that).

I just dont know what it is wrong, sharing it makes me feel less lonely about it. Thank you for listening to me.