I'm so unbelievably frustrated because I can't seem to fit in this world, anywhere. It's just so strange, as if I'm on the Truman Show-- if you've seen the movie. I feel like life is one big joke on me.

I think completely different than most people. My entire life going back to early childhood it used to drive me crazy how kids would say things that to me seemed so wrong. It drove me crazy why they couldn't see the obvious.

I love spirituality but I now have my own beliefs / theories / ideas that's almost unheard of. I also love art & emotions, but people often see me as a bit too much, perhaps emo. I love science but nothing like a mainstream scientist. Perhaps more like a mixture of Tesla & Einstein. I use science & math on a personal level at home to find truth or for whatever personal project I'm working on.

If I had to describe myself, how I see myself, maybe it would be like Spock (Star Trek) morphed with Halsey (singer / artist) morphed with the Dalai Lama morphed with the most emotional romantic French person morphed with an emo teen.

You might say, "You could have different types of friends." Spiritual friends. Science friends. Music & dance friends. Emo friends. The problem is that I'm waaaaaaaayyyyy too different. The music, dance, & emo people would quickly learn about my other interests and see me as just way too weird. Same goes for the science & spiritual people.

I feel so lost and out of place on Earth! Like a completely different species. I live here as caretakers for my 90 & 91 year old parents all day. I have no life. I can't even find one online friend, someone I resonate with.