Thanks @mote.of.soul, I think I understand you, maybe not completely, but in some extent for sure. I knew people who were quite alone and with no friends but who also did not need anyone. They were fine like that. Problem is, some of us aren't.

There are other problems with loneliness that makes it worse. The more lonely and depressed you are, it is harder for people to get to know you and to want to know you. You can have great personality, talents, you could be funny, smart, but thanks to depression you will be reduced to whiny, sad, miserable person that no one wants to know better. Maybe that is the problem with depression, it destroys personalities or rather hides it. Most people do not want to bother with sad, depressed persons, even on this or similar forums.

Question is, how to get out of that prison, made by depression, forget seeking permanent apptoval of others, which you will never get, be just happy with yourself and who you are, with life, sun, and the fact you can breathe. How to be alone and happy? How to enjoy life even if everyone you ever loved betrayed you? Why is it so hard?