You can see it as a way of trying to escape a bad situation. When you die it's finally over, when you survive you likely get the proper care that you needed or when you get kidnapped, you're at least out of the bad situation. It can be something going on at that moment, it can also be it's something from the past that is still effecting you. So possibly there have been situations were you needed proper care but didn't get it that makes you live with beliefs this likely won't happen when you need it or maybe only in situations where you've seen people getting proper care, so that you fantasize about that as a way of getting the care that you needed that way. What you can do that might help is identifying behavior that may have happened to you in the past, such as emotional neglect, emotional/psychological abuse. If online resources don't help you enough you can also try to talk to a therapist about it, I wouldn't recommend to ignore it if it still keeps on happening.