Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart
I really honestly feel as though I'm in love with my T. I know that's kind of old in the therapy world but it goes beyond transference - she's so genuine in the room with me that I know a lot about her and I'm devastated she's getting married. It just really hurts. I'm a straight female but I find her so attractive in a physical way too. It's actually pretty devastating because I know I'll never be with her in the way I want and the therapy alliance will end down the line so what's the point? I've had therapy before and had strong feelings but I have never, ever had such intense feelings as I do for this t.
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Your feelings are real. From my experience, using terminology like "transference" etc, doesn't help the process because it contradicts the authenticity of those feelings. Accepting your feelings are real, feeling feelings, however exciting, however grim and being able to talk about them with your therapist, helps hugely. If you can talk openly, I think it makes a big difference in how quickly you can get through the painful feelings. It works both ways though, the therapist also has to be open to discussing it and has some responsibility for helping the client open up. So many variables can result in becoming a bit stuck.
A therapist you love, getting married is a horrible situation to be in.
I hope you're able to find some love and self-compassion for yourself. xx