Are you familiar with Heinz Kohut's theory of the development of the self and the 3 self-object functions? I did quite a bit of research several years ago about that. And I believe I can identify, I have some sense, when those are "working". I think I know what is missing for me and when I became aware that my last T was not someone I could "twin" with I suggested that we could still work together on the development of my self from a kind of theoretical standpoint, exploring what would a "twin" be like for me, and the feelings that I had for a great-aunt, who was the closest of that for me. The therapist refused to consider it and that led to the ensuing conflicts that led to the termination.

So a question is, if a therapist is not sufficient in their own self to be that Other for a client, is there some other way to move forward?

I think It's inadequate to say, when a therapy relationship like mine failed, that it was only the original damage that was exposed and not additional damage heaped upon it by trying my best, in the best ways I knew how, and being failed by the therapist.