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Lilly2 · Nov 11, 2019 at 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

@TishaBuv

Good for you!! That's Awesome! That is valuable self-awareness, isn't it?

@Lilly2

Girl, you are like an encyclopedia, and I mean that in a kind, loving way!

Awe, shucks. **blusing** Thank you @HappyCrafter

I thank my education, my living in various ghettos growing up, my military experience, and my police experience/training for all that. I was also a victim to two domestic violence situations, one I escaped barely alive, the other I made irrepairable mistakes when trying to defend myself. For 20 years, or more, I've been free from domestic violence victimization, but it took a lot of my rational skills and training to get out from under. Sometimes victimization leads to future victimizations, and I figured out a way to beat some (not all) victimizations. Predators can see some flaw - most notably from the mental illnesses we have or any other potential "targets," so I try to reduce that all the while knowing that it should be their responsibility to reduce their behaviors, not me for simply defending myself or reacting to the trauma they inflicted on me.

Then, of course, there are conflicts where both parties have contributed; in such cases, restorative justice, compromises, good communication, and a reestablishing of boundaries are necessary, lest both parties agree to walk away from one another. This often happens in relationship conflicts, including friendships, professional relationships, and romantic relationships.

Then again, there are situations where we create conflicts, and in such cases, we have to figure out how to change our own behaviors, how to communicate our needs properly, how to walk away from those whom we simply don't like or agree with, and how to self-care enough to understand where our mistakes were, where our shortcomings lie, and where our boundaries for our own selves lack. It's not easy being in any position where conflict arises. It's hard, in some (not all) cases, for both offender and victim.

**Note: I understand some people don't like certain words like offender and victim, but for lack of alternative words, and based on my training, this is the best way I can communicate at this point without overly taxing myself on finding alternative words and phrases in the dictionary or thesaurus. In such ways, I lack the "encyclopedia" of knowledge, but I still try. Hee hee. PS: I've been in multiple roles above, so I'm not innocent. I've had to work on my own issues in some areas where I contributed to the conflict.

Sorry, I'm being verbose today. :P