Quote:
Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur
Thanks, maybe I ought to do that. Writing it down is somewhat easier for me than talking about it (especially when anonymous). I think it's mostly a tone of voice thing where my tone is kind of flat and might send the signal that it affects me less than it does. That and I've been hesitant to disclose stuff like those violent thoughts because I don't want my therapist to think I'm violent (which I'm not, I've never hurt a fly except in my mind).
|
I can appreciate that. I was very hesitant to admit a number of things to my therapist. I soon realized she had pretty much heard it all. I also realized that mostly I was avoiding it because I simply did not want to admit these things and actually say them out loud.
I did learn about myself that my subconscious mind basically spewed out all of my trauma and any strange thoughts I had suppressed when I was psychotic. It all came out druing mania when I had no filter and I was completely exposed. My poor husband! He heard so many completely scary and dark things that I would NEVER act on. It was like the most twisted things from my darkest nightmares were front and center for him to see. I had no filter whatsoever. At any rate, I decided I better start talking and processing this stuff with someone before it happens again. My hope is talking about it helps me to release this energy in a more productive way.