I find birthdays hard? In my teen years I enjoyed them....I think because I had more friends then and people would come celebrate with me and have sleepovers and such.

Now I'm older and I feel like since....23 (now turning 27 this week) I just kinda have a hard time. Friends stop really wanting to come out and celebrate. I'll recall my 23rd birthday were I asked several friends to do something (even to just go out and get one drink) and no one said yes. I went out to a bar on my own and was heavily depressed. I probably would have tried doing something stupid that night till my roommate at the time finally came to join me (after posting to social media about how sad I was no one joined me and yes I had asked her).

I feel weird on birthdays because of depression during middle school and high school I genially believed I wouldn't be alive this long. So now that I am....what do I do?

Last year my birthday became even harder because my father died on halloween and my grandma died the day before my birthday. I dunno....birthdays are now just weird and hard and I kinda just wish I didn't have to acknowledgement them but I still do for my mom's sake.