Ever hate yourself so badly that you want to both live forever and want to be tortured to the brink of existence continuously?
I do.
I'm bringing this up in therapy and with my pdoc tomorrow. I don't think there's help for this, anywhere. Yet, I want input from others.
I don't think meds are going to fix anything. I know they aren't doing their job now. Therapy hasn't given me a fix for this either.
I want to almost die, via suffering, as painfully as possible, forever.