I’m either heading for a great place, or this house of cards is coming down. My stomach pain is bad, and almost constant. While I’m sure I’m physically fine (linked to PTSD instead) my Mum keeps bothering me about going back to my GI specialist. So I’m seeing my GP for a referral tomorrow.

Anyway this pain, along with hip pain, and dealing with trauma issues in general I swing between being all zen about it to being filled with rage. Along with that I’m not sure if I’m even digesting my meds properly. This worries me. Things are getting weird. Maybe I’m in one already. I’m not at all depressed but have SI. My thoughts are a little grandiose though. Maybe I’m just stressed out.

Seeing my T tomorrow. Since last weeks session made me sicker I’m not sure how deeply we will go into my parents and childhood trauma. Gotta vent it somehow though. Otherwise I will snap very soon.